Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Muhammad Shahrul Nizam.
I am writing this letter to formally introduce myself to you. Before enrolling
in SIT civil engineering, I studied mechatronics engineering at Temasek
Polytechnic specializing in aerospace systems. Engineering has always been my
interest. Being an inquisitive person, seeing how technology advances over the
years, only piqued my interest further. Innovative architectural designs like
the Interlace condominium, intrigued me, which led to my interest in the built environment
sector. Hence, I decided to study civil engineering as it has a vast range of job prospects
and allows me to contribute to the community by shaping our world.
My communication strength is
that I am confident to talk individually with strangers. My experience working
as a retail associate involved a lot of interactions with customers. I was able
to communicate effectively and provide quality customer service to the patrons.
As for a weakness, I am an
introverted person. Frequently, I find it challenging to hold onto a
conversation with my friends. Talking with a stranger does not create a social
obligation, thus giving me the confidence to do so. As an introvert, I also do
not have the confidence to be the center of attention. So, giving presentations
to a large group of people can be nerve-racking for me.
Through this module, I aim to
gain more confidence to engage in conversations with my peers. I hope to
achieve this by speaking up during class activities, and by improving my
presentation skills. Another goal I have is to enhance my technical writing and
critical thinking skills through the various assignments and activities given.
I believe that with your guidance I will be able to achieve these goals.
A defining characteristic of
mine is that I am a growth-focused person and is not afraid of new experiences.
I enjoy learning new things and I constantly seek new learning opportunities to
improve myself.
Thank you for reading my
letter. I look forward to your classes this trimester.
Regards,
Shahrul Nizam
(Revised 27/1/22)
Hi Shahrul, for the first paragraph, there is a tense error, I think it should be intrigued instead as its in the past. Instead of using so, maybe it is better to use hence, as it sounds much more formal. For the fourth paragraph, maybe you can explain how your aims for the module is able to help you in school or in the working life. Other than that, I enjoyed reading your letter. It appears to be courteous, and well written. You have covered the points well with concise explanations and well-linked examples. The message that you are sending is clear and easy to understand. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Zul. Thank you for your input. I will make the necessary adjustments.
DeleteHi Shahrul! Great job on using good vocabulary for your introductory letter! It was really interesting to know how your passion for pursuing a course in the built sector came about. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteHi Lokes. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteHi Shahrul! Javin here. It was a pleasure resding through the letter you prepared. The letter was clear and concise with valuable information in your strength and weaknesses. As I am also a introverted person, I can relate very well to the difficulties you faced trying to hold a conversation with people. Lets work together to achieve this goal together!
ReplyDeleteHi Javin. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteDear Shahrul,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, informative and well-organized letter. You do a good job covering the points from the assignment brief and supporting each with details. For example, it's very interesting when you share that you've been interested in engineering since you were young, and that building design has been an inspiration for you.
It's also interesting how even with your experience in sales, you find interacting with strangers difficult and you consider yourself an introvert. I'd be interested in knowing how you think such shyness can be overcome.
There are a few language issues to take not of in this post:
1. punctuation
-- Innovative architectural designs like the Interlace condominium, intrigue me which led to my interest in the built environment sector.... >
Innovative architectural designs like the Interlace condominium intrigue me, which led to my interest in the built environment sector....
2. verb use
-- My experience working as a retail associate involves a lot of interactions with customers. I was able to communicate effectively and provide quality customer service to the patrons. > (tense inconsistency: past or present) ?
I look forward to you coming out of your shell this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
I look forward to learning more from you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Hello Professor. Thank you for reading my letter. I will rectify the language errors. I look forward to your lessons this trimester.
Delete